Moving On – Being Whole - Healing Questions

These are the QUESTIONS I hear most often and this is the reason I wanted The Survivor Manual. I have tried to keep the questions related to each other in close proximity.

For my contributors, please feel free to address any of these questions and put Q and A in the label at the bottom. I would also very much like to know how you and those you know healed. Share you art, music, spirituality, healing techniques, and any other connection you found helpful for moving on.

As we collect answers, we will provide the blog entry link by the questions to make it easier to search! This is a work in progress and will continue to move forward. Keep coming back!

When will I feel normal again?

Are there any signs to show that I’m getting better? I feel better but I would love to know if I really am, you know what I mean?

How do you find yourself again?

I feel like I want to hide. How do I get back to my creativity? How are you able to sing and dance?

I'm afraid to have children because I was abused...is that normal?

Having sex with the man I love is absolutely unappealing and I feel desperate to have sex with a stranger or someone I don’t really love. What’s going on? Why don’t I want sex with someone I love and how do I change that?

How can I stop wanting other people to save me?

I have so many sex questions. Can you talk about sex? I mean, is that bad to ask about sex? I feel so bad around it. Sometimes I cry during sex. Sometimes I feel awful because of what goes on in my head during sex that I can’t even talk about.

I'm ashamed of feeling good when I have sex...will I ever get beyond that?

Orgasms are a trigger too...what do I do?

How can I use all of these tools and deal with things like my marriage breaking up?

I feel like I keep repeating the same pattern with men, like I have a magnet for them on my head, pulling them towards me. You seem so centered and sure of yourself. How do you do that and does that attract better men?

How do I forgive when I hate so much? You talk about forgiveness but I wonder if you’re just making excuses for your dad. Are you? Do you really forgive him and if so, how did you do that?

How can you be so upbeat and joyful?

How do we trust others?

How do you or should you still have a relationship with your abuser when they are in your family?

How do you cope with: anxiety/panic, depression, anger, loneliness, intimacy issues, low self esteem etc…

How do you support a loved one who has been abused?

What type of help is out there? What organizations?

What effects did the abuse have on your relationships?

How do you break that cycle of going from one bad relationship to another?

How do you love someone when you can’t love yourself?

How do you take care of yourself?

Do you think change will really happen?

I have so many sex questions. Can you talk about sex? I mean, is that bad to ask about sex? I feel so bad around it. Sometimes I cry during sex. Sometimes I feel awful because of what goes on in my head during sex that I can’t even talk about.

Sex, sex, sex – I want to know how to have sex again and not hate my partner. It is not their fault.

How do you trust others?

How do you say no?

I'm ashamed of feeling good when I have sex...will I ever get beyond that?

Exactly, what do I do when I want to cut/slap/etc? How do I stop the pattern of self-abuse exactly?

Are you ever truly healed or is it going to be a lifetime of learning how to deal with your past?