Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Breaking the Cycle Questions

How do you stop the cycle?

I don't want my children to be victims, how do I protect them?

I almost fell on the floor when your brother mentioned that the molestation felt good. How am I supposed to live with myself seeing that I feel the same way?

How do I find peace and quiet in my head when all there is, is pain?

Exactly, what do I do when I want to cut/slap/etc? How do I stop the pattern of self-abuse exactly?

I’m in an abusive relationship but the violence has stopped for a while. Should I feel safe?

How do you deal with phobias?

What if I have to see my abusers because they are in my family? How do I deal with that?

I’m afraid of sex and have trouble with any sort of intimacy. Could it be that I was molested, but just don’t remember it?

I have panic attacks every time my husband wants to have sex or just fool around. How can I get over them? It’s destroying our relationship.

I can only masturbate thinking about being gang-raped or something equally as heinous. I feel so much shame and don’t want to tell anyone. I think I’m a freak. What rape victim would fantasize about being raped?

I’ve never masturbated. Should I start now? I don’t even know where to begin... How can I re-teach my brain to think that masturbation is OK and not dirty?

One time I masturbated and thought of my pedophile step-dad. I had an orgasm, then wanted to throw up because I was so disgusted with myself. I hate myself for having that thought along with an orgasm. It’s disgusting so I must be disgusting.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not even in the room with my family. Like I’m gone. Has this ever happened to you?

What is the best way to handle flashbacks and is it normal to have them?
Dealing With Triggers

A man exposed himself to me in a grocery store and I panicked. I became mute. I went into another aisle, crouched down and cowered. What the hell was happening to me? Now I’m ashamed. I should have done something to stop him, but I couldn’t move or think. What should I have done?

When my boyfriend comes up behind me and touches me I freak out and want to kill him. Is this normal?
Dealing With Triggers

I cut myself repeatedly, I developed anorexia and bulimia and panic attacks.

I don’t date. I’m too scared. How do I come out of hiding?
Holding Your Inner Child

People would always compliment me and tell me what a beautiful girl I was - but they, I thought, couldn't see the ugliness inside. How do I change those negative thought patterns?

How can I use all of these tools and deal with things like my marriage breaking up? I believe it is connected to my abuse and my inability to be intimate.

I can’t find a man to love me. What do I do?
Sword Technique for cutting away old patterns.