Watch the new version of Searching for Angela Shelton for FREE!

You can now watch the new version of Searching for Angela Shelton and embed it in your own website or blog!

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/searching_for_angela_shelton/

Love Box

I just got a great email from a survivor I met at the last college I spoke at. Here's what she said:

OH and I took your advice about loving yourself more. I made a shoebox and decorated it, it is now the LOVE box. It sounds silly but every day or multiple times a day I write a little note about something I did that was fun, or something i liked about myself. Just today I wrote down something I said that was witty.

Now that is cool! I love the LOVE BOX! Make one for yourself.

The Angela Shelton Foundation

The Angela Shelton Foundation was given to me for my birthday 5 years ago by a man who loved me dearly and wanted to see my name and work live on past my death. After all my work with non profits and witnessing the chaos that comes with them, I let the foundation sit until it became clear what it should work on to fulfill my mission of inspiring and empowering all survivors to heal and lead joyful lives. I didn't want to reinvent the wheel or create more unnecessary paperwork. Now that I am out of the darkness of facing, healing, and dealing with a painful past and moving beyond pain, beyond forgiveness and boldly into a joyful productive life - things have become very clear and all the right people seem to show up at the most perfect moment too!

Now the Angela Shelton Foundation is taking over The Survivor Manual! The board members have discussed it and agreed that expanding my brain child of sharing all information about healing through the manual is imperative. So the Manual will be expanding soon to include many more valuable avenues to healing and joy.

The other major thing that helped me the most has been my magical house on the hill. It has been a sanctuary for me during the most difficult and the most joyous of times. Many people have come here to have catharsis, to purge, to heal and to rejoice. As I move forward in my life with my new projects and literally move up the hill, I am working on donating my house to the foundation so it can continue to be an artist-in-residence and healing center. That is awesome!

The Survivor Manual is now run by the Angela Shelton Foundation. You can write off your donations! The Survivor Manual is FREE but if you found any of the information, videos, or resources helpful please help this project continue by sending your support:

Army of Angels Conference - March 2009

Get tickets to the first annual Army of Angels Conference this coming March!

My new play will be performed as well as the amazing one-woman-show "TOTALLY Kimleigh!"
Check out Kimleigh at http://www.totallykimleigh.com/

Healing Holly

Thank you for reading and contributing to the Survivor Manual. My work started and continues because of the people like you who support it. I meet heroes daily from all walks of life. What started out as a simple project of interviewing women who shared my name turned into a bond with thousands of people of all ages, races, and religions.

As I write another movie and work on my comedy show, I continue to speak around the country, consult other writers and filmmakers on their projects, and provide inspiration and avenues towards healing and awareness. I have just met another hero among you and I want to tell you about her and request your help, hope, and heart.

I started my comedy cooking show, Stirring Up Trouble, to have some balance in my life after years of working in the trauma world. I have been contacted by many of you asking for recipes and wanting to be a part of the show, one of whom is a girl named Holly. Holly emailed me, offering help on the new website. After checking out her online community for women, healing and feminist blogs, I could tell that she knew what she was doing, so I accepted her offer. She added those cute little buttons so that you can now forward the show to your friends on myspace, facebook, stumble it, digg it, or post it on delicious. Check out what she did at StirringUpTrouble.com.

Holly sent me an email telling me that the site was live and apologized for being out of communication for a bit. She said that she'd been sleeping an unusual amount and felt groggy. I, knowing some of her story of child sexual abuse, asked her if she was using sleep as a coping mechanism. Many times when things come up that we have a hard time facing, we will go to sleep, literally. I suggested that she write about that on her healing blog and I would put it on the Survivor Manual.

But the reasons for Holly's unusual sleep patterns go much deeper than coping. It turns out that Holly has Periodontal Disease, which is a gum disease that swells your gums up to the point where they become inflamed and hurt very badly. Periodontal Disease releases toxins through your gums that you swallow all the time. The reason Holly has begun sleeping so much is because these toxins are beginning to get worse and are making her nauseous. I looked up Periodontal Disease and found that if it is left untreated it can lead to a seizure or a heart attack. Recently Holly told me that she has been feeling electric-like surges throughout her face.

The reason I'm writing this is because this all began with child abuse. When Holly was a young child, not only was her mother selling her to men for sexual favors to be able to afford her drug addiction, but Holly's mother was also violent. She pushed Holly into the street one day when Holly was about 3. Holly fell, hit her face on a street curb, and all of her front teeth pushed into her gums. She had to get them surgically removed.

Holly's front teeth didn't grow back in until she was around 8 and when they did, they grew in extremely crooked and her mouth produced more teeth than would fit. To top it off, Holly's wisdom teeth are coming in. One of them is all the way grown in and another that is growing in now. Why am I telling you all of this? Because Holly is uninsured and cannot afford to get any of this fixed. She's been trying to take odds and ends jobs but the pain is keeping her from working as much as she could. Holly's father was paying child support plus the court costs and lawyer costs to try to get Holly and her younger sister away from their mother, so there was no money to get Holly's teeth fixed when she was young and they have continued to worsen. Holly has tried getting on welfare, free clinics, and sliding scale clinics, and every time they either don't have enough oral surgeons for all the help she needs or she makes too much or too little money.

I know what it's like to not have insurance and not be able to pay for health care. A few years ago I had such an intense asthma attack that I had to be rushed to the hospital. Because I was unable to breathe, I was rushed right into the emergency room. It was after I was put onto a breathing machine and stabilized that I was brought all the paperwork to sign. I began to cry when the nurse asked which insurance I had. Not only was I not insured but there was no way I was able to pay for a hospital bill. The nurse had seen my documentary and knew what I did and who I was. She was an angel in my life and erased any trace of me having been in the hospital and I never received a bill. She also provided me with some free inhalers before I left. I don't know what I would have done at the time if that nurse had not miraculously shown up.

I wouldn't tell you about Holly if she wasn't a warrior and a hero. She has done so much for Women's rights, helping other survivors heal, and setting up websites for amazing women - like myself! Just like people have helped me along the way, I am going to help Holly and I am asking for your help. I'm asking that all of us pitch in and get Holly's teeth fixed. If I could simply write a check and make her bills disappear I would. But I have not gotten rich by dedicating my life to helping others. I am rich in Spirit from knowing so many of you but the bank account has not caught up yet. So I set up a paypal email under givelove@angelashelton.com so we can all chip in. I realize that we're in a financial crisis and because of that we are all going to need to bond together as a community more and more in the future.

The gist of Holly's story is in an interview she did for her local newspaper in 2007 here : http://www.thetimes-tribune.com/articles/2007/01/08/top_local_stories/17682154.txt

If Holly doesn't get the Periodontal Disease taken care of, she could die from a seizure or a heart attack because of all of the toxins her mouth produces. If I had not had that angel for a nurse I would not have been able to breathe - literally. I care about this girl and I want to help her. Healing Holly is not going to solve all of the problems in the world but it will be one amazing story with a happy ending that I personally really want to see.

Please be one of Holly's angels! The many procedures she needs are going to be very expensive so any amount helps. If everyone who gets this gave a little something - we may save a life! I have been speaking to one of the top dentists in Beverly Hills but if there are any dental surgeons around the world, Holly will fly wherever she needs to in order to fix this painful problem. The donations are gifts and not tax write-offs. If you or someone you know is part of a non-profit willing to collect and donate the money as well, please help.

You can contact me directly at angela@angelashelton.com and put Healing Holly in the subject. Go to paypal.com and send money to givelove@angelashelton.com or use this button:

Finding Butch

Inspired by Finding Angela Shelton, Ron Tebo is now Finding Butch!

Ron Tebo and his younger sister are survivors of sexual abuse (he was 6 and she was 4) and they have created Finding Butch so other survivors have a positive place to speak out and share their story.

Angela Shelton in Texas

Yay for Kathy and Jenn in Texas! That was a great event!

A

Question and Answer

Click to Play

I'm back and going through all of the things on my desktop. Here is a video of me doing a question and answer after Searching for Angela Shelton at ODU in Virgina Beach.

Virginia Beach was so beautiful. I got to visit and meet some amazing people, I heard more stories, I saw more transformation, and a little birdie told me that my book is part of the curiculum too. That's pretty amazing. I had no idea when I began this journey. I thought it was going to be funny.
http://searchingforangelashelton.com/

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Sword of Trauma

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These images are part of my new event - Removing the Sword of Trauma. You can contact my mom at events@angelashelton.com or joann@angelashelton.com to bring me to your community.

I love this program!

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To All The Big People Out There

I just received this from a Goddess who wanted me to share this with you:

To All The Big People Out There

This is to all the big people out there -- like me. The fat people -- like me. We who say, "as soon as I lose some weight, I will .................... (insert anything here)."

Stop waiting! Being [insert your label] should not preclude your living life. It's an excuse. I've used it over and over again for years. Doesn't mean I don't want to address it -- just means I will no longer use my weight as a crutch. At the beginning of Angela's personal journey, she was still smoking.

I'm done. Goodbye Fat Excuse! Thanks for the use, but I am letting you go.

I was thinking the same ole same old the other day: "I'm too fat; they'll laugh at me; they'll think I'm not healing because I haven't lost weight, etc. " And then had a new thought:

"How many other big/fat people are out there thinking the same thing?"

I would look at Angela Shelton and think it was easier for her. She's so pretty. She's so thin. She's an actress. Everything probably comes easier to her. People will be able to hear her because she's thin.

How presumptive! How dismissive! How arrogant! (I forgive me.)

Well, I bet there are as many "Me's" as there are Angela Shelton's. How many other women are waiting for someone like them to speak up? I was. And then I thought: "Well, why not me? What if I'm the fat Angela Shelton?" (okay, that cracked me up...but I digress).

AM I KIDDING? ME?!

Sure! Why not me? Be the change I want to see. I want to see big/fat people taking a stand, too. Speaking out. Being large warrior goddesses! Why not?

As I learned over and over again on my "Angela Journey," it just takes one person speaking up and speaking the truth for one other person to hear it, identify with it, and to begin speaking their truth. (think of the 70s Breck Shampoo commercial: she told two friends and she told two friends and so on and so on and so on...)

If right now, you are hearing all your "rotes" (those voices inside that beat you down), STOP THEM. Say this out loud or in your head:

I am worth healing.
I am worth loving.
I am worth being loved.
I love me.
SQUISH! (really. Say squish -- it's the best word in the world!)

Drink them in. Try them on for size. Roll them around on your tongue or in your mind. Feel their power. Believe in the possibility that they are truth. I believe you are worth it!

Recently, for the first time in my 43 years, I was able to look myself in the eyes in the mirror (YES THE MIRROR), and say "Squish! I love you, Diana." The kicker? I believed it.

(pause to reflect. drink. try. roll. feel. believe. smile)

I found something important enough to push me over the edge. What a way to put it, but that's it. I went over the edge of surviving into living. Oh yeah, it's a little scary. It's quite a bit uncomfortable for the time being -- but I LIKE it!

I put myself out there. The world didn't end. The sky didn't fall. No one "got" me. My skin didn't burn off. I did not explode. I did not collapse from the weight of what happened. The blackness did not consume me. I did not disappear or disintegrate. I did not turn into red hot rage.

I triumphed! I am now out there in the world, and I am okay. I am fat. I am alive. I have possibilities.

I
AM
A
BIG OL'
WARRIOR
GODDESS!

(**disclaimer. you may find that once you start speaking the truth and feeling your feelings, food doesn't hold the same power. food doesn't temporarily fill whatever if it did before. in fact, speaking your truth and sharing your story may eventually be the best diet in the world. imagine that. believe the possibility.)


Thank you Diana and continue the healing!

Stop Abusing Yourself and Dance!

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Detective speaks about Report It.

This is an amazing video that one of the members of the Army of Angels filmed. Her husband is a detective and he shares his views of sexual violence, how victims are treated, and how impactful the Report It Campaign is.

Are you reporting? Check out www.reportitnow.org

Tonight in Seattle!

March 19th: Annual Rosie the Riveter Slam & Featured Performer Dorothy Lemoult

Open Mic, Featured Performer and the Annual Rosie the Riveter Slam:The 3rd Annual Rosie Slam is open to Women Only in honor of National Women’s History Month.
Email info@seattlepoetryslam.org for more info.
When screenwriter Angela Shelton set out to make a documentary country interviewing other women who shared her name, she was shocked to find that 70% had been victims of rape, childhood sexual assault and/or domestic violence. This surprising journey also led Angela to confront her own abusive past. The multi-award winning documentary that culminated has started a grassroots movement of survivors and humanitarian organizations around the world who are breaking the silence about the epidemic of abuse. Angela has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, 48 Hours Investigates and an exclusive version of “Searching for Angela Shelton” aired on Lifetime TV in April 2006.
As part of a call to action for a healing revolution, actor and director and playwright Dorothy Lemoult will lead an all female cast in bringing several of Angela Shelton’s monologues to life as our feature for the evening.

WEDNESDAY MARCH 19TH AT TOST in Seattle!

Come out and support one of the Angels!

The 30 Day Finding Angela Shelton Journey!

Check out this amazing letter I received! It is from the 30 Day Finding Angela Shelton Journey. WOW!

Hi Angela Shelton.

What a ride! Today was my Day 30 on your Angela Shelton Journey. I can only begin to tell you how emotional the last 37 days have been for me. So many tears and emotions that some days I just couldn't click on the day's Journey email, and had to wait a day or two.

Thank you thank you thank you. Your program is truly inspired and a blessing from all that is good and loving and healing in the universe. Your messages are right-on, and your videos so intense, funny, and personal. I have learned SO much and still have work to do, but a shift in my healing has definitely taken place.

I thought I would share with you my Day 22 drawing of what joy would look like to me. This was done with markers on a file folder. I certainly wouldn't have felt this without your program, and the assignment gave me this light-hearted image of joy. I have kept it up where I see it many times each day, and it makes me smile every time, and lifts those old vibes up.

I will also share my Day 26 Mission Statement:

I am a beautiful entity, a divine spark of God who is on this planet to learn to love and to play and love and have fun. I pray to be a fountain of love to the world and to be a bright loving light to myself and therefore to others. I am joyous Jaye who exited the blame game.

Thank you for your work, from deep in my heart to you, and so much more than I can say right now.

Jaye

I am writing my autiobiography!

Angela told me I had to write about the process of writing my autobiography so here goes!
My physical therapist found out I have an interest in writing. He introduced me to a client who just finished her memoir at 71. After the three of us had lunch, she asked when I wanted to get together to read our writing to each other. This was the moment of commitment or synchronicity as Angela says.

This commitment meant I had to go home and write. The technique of learning a new habit in 21 days is a tool for me. I wrote on my calendar for each day 1 through day 21. Today is day 13 of my writing. I have written an hour sometimes two hours each day. The process of free style which is to write everything that comes to mind, just to keep writing, no thought of editing or spelling. The first day I looked to the left and imagined what it was like when I was a child on a tobacco farm before we moved when I was six.

Each day I continue adding to the script. I also print each days writing and file these 6 to 8 pages. My flat mate just happens to be a college professor, a writer and an editor. He told me about this technique which I am calling brain dumping. The intention is to get everything out of the head and onto paper. Once this is done, I will start to review each days writing and make notes in the margins about other ideas that come up. I am also rereading Write From the Heart, Unleashing the Power of Your Creativity by Hal Zina Bennett.

Yesterday, day 12, I fell in love with writing. I had no idea until yesterday that writing was like a spiritual exercise or a contemplation. For example, in contemplation when I am imagining feeling my completed book, like Anglea has the blog of experiencing her new book. She is feeling it, touching it and etc. This is what I did to see, touch and feel my book. It is a technique given in Write From the Heart. In doing this exercise, there was a point when the imagination stopped and something else took over. It was soul movement or the divine essence of who I am, the divine. This same type of creativity has taken over in the writing process. I had no idea there was a similarity until I experienced it. I am now in love with writing.

It has been a discipline to write each day, but I look forward to it. It has been different almost every day, the feeling that goes with it. The first day was almost surreal, then there were days of jumbled ideas, other days the words flowed out on the paper and an hour was up before I knew it, which has been almost every day. Some days I didn't want to stop and didn't, some days I had to stop and book and event for Angela. Can you tell I am excited? I have been inspired to know my sword is for inspiration, that's why I keep IT beside me!