Musings From a Blissed Out Mind

I just want to write. I love life. Sounds cliche. I really mean this. Even when I am having a bad, shitty day, I still love being here. Especially with my boys and husband, upon whom I look with deep reverence each day.
It's not what happens to us so much that determines our outcomes, it is what we choose to make of it. What meaning will we ascribe to our suffering? Existential grief is real. From a woman in the Sudan clinging to her naked bloodied baby she prays will not starve, to men fighting in wars to which no one will ever understand the horrors of, to the child who is raped by her father, what matters is not what we think our experience should BE, but what we make it FOR. Too often we can get caught in the no man's land of WHY? Why God, why? Many of us have been there, after all, what we have endured is crazy and horrible and nearly unspeakable. We feel we are or have lead a life that can not be listened to, that no one wants to hear it. Well, I have people who do and have and will continue to want to hear "it". I have found I can cry WHy and still move forward and transcend. It's all about transcendence. Choosing people to be in my life who are not deniers is essential for me.
My husband is one. He gets inside my pain. He is there. It is real. He feels it. I believe his tears and his breaths and his eyes when he is in that pain with me. He feels me. I have 2 best girls who absolutely feel with me, as I do them. I love my family of choice. They know what love really is. It is a blessing we all deserve. I wish this love for all. I do not know why whatever notion of God allows bad things to happen, or why some believe it's karma, or why it happened to me. Or you. I just know I am giving it meaning. I am speaking it. I am living inside of my truth. I am as Rainer Maria Rilke put it, "Living the questions." That is my meaning, to keep learning, to keep asking why it happened to ME...Not just WHY? Or WHY me? But, why ME???..what am I hear to do, especially with child sexual rape? I will work to continue finding out. I hope to serve others in healing and speaking and creating. I am also here to live a joyful, blissed out life. I am happy, deeply, profoundly happy, and that is my underlying feeling about life, regardless of the stuff that goes on in one's life.....the things we humans go through...and for survivors that includes PTSD, complex emotions, needs and rights. If we are experiencing flashbacks, nightmares, self doubt, self persecution and paranoia, whatever it is, we are here to be bound indelibly to the light that is within us. We are here to en-joy love, life, nature, god, whatever we conceive him or her to be, we are here to manifest our birthright to abundance and clarity, our right to safety and a life lived in harmony. Namaste. S

Mary Lemons

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This is the social worker who saved me when I was 8. She is now a healer. I did an amazing session with her and I also got to meet one of her healing horses.

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Reluctant Genius

Listen to the conference call that I had with the Army of Angels. My guest was Tracy Mazuer who started The Reluctant Genius. She's awesome.

New Awakenings

I have been doing much blossoming lately. I thought I would share some of what I have been partaking in and as always, use what moves you, discard the rest. 

Tips on Soulful Living:

Running, I know not all of us are runners in this great big world, but it does something to me I can barely describe. I have been getting up at 6 a.m. and running 4 miles. I get to hear the birdsong, feel the cool sunrise breeze, and smell the honeysuckle, roses, wisteria, and other flowers that sit reaching for the same sky I run under. I marvel. I just marvel at life, the same force that runs through me and helps me run pulses through those flowers and birds. 

I have always been drawn toward healthy foods, lately I am sure to get my 5 pieces of fruit or veggies a day. I see it as not what I am taking out of my diet, but what I can add. It leaves little room for anything else! Organic raw trail mix, lots of oranges, tilapia baked in lemon, whole grain cereals and breads, spirulina, and some amazing vitamins. I take Rainbow Light vitamins. Here is a link to the website. They make a huge difference in how I feel and how I feel about myself. 

Now, I have the privilege of being able to shop 100% organic, we personally love Whole Foods Market, Trader Joe's, and the farmer's markets. If money is an issue for how you are feeding your body, even Wal-Mart has affordable organics. Target as well. Do what you can and feel good about it. Keep visualizing your life and health as you want it to look like. 

Take a class. Any class. My husband and I are starting Latin dance classes. I am slated to begin a yoga class after years of home practice. Swim, swimming is very healing and amniotic.  And dance, in your living room. My kids love this about me, we just crank up Bettye LaVette's Joy, or Gnarls Barkley or the Beastie Boys and we dance! 

The three necessities of the heart soul and mind in my opinion are music, nature and animals. Survivors can feel amazing unconditional love, sometimes for the first time ever-as I did as a child into my adulthood with my horses-because of an animal. We as humans really need to look at the dogs. Man, they have that love thing down pat. :)

Savor the magical moments. A little story: The other day, it was raining. My big front window looks out inot the treetops. I turned to look at what was so sparkly in the corner of my eye and saw the sun setting in the trees-the leaves dripping with raindrops as the sun danced and made tiny diamonds appear. It was gorgeous. I called for the kids and we watched this for a few minutes until the sun set. I took some pics which I have posted here. Amazed, the kids and I then talked about what this sight did to our hearts and souls. 

Talk to you kids about things like reverence, wonder, joy, ask them to tell you how things make them feel not just in their heads, but in their bodies. Chakras are a great thing to teach children. They need to see themselves and feel themselves as spirit first, I believe. This is what I am teaching my kids. They say things like,"That makes my heart smile." They get it. After all, it is already in them just as it is in us when we are born...all of the beauty and wonder exists within. 

We have always made it a point to instill in our kids how much Mama and Daddy love each other. This visibly fills them with a deep peace. One can see it happen. I believe this is so essential for the peace and happiness of a child-and how often it goes untouched as a way of being in a family. We write poetry for one another and the kids see it, they read it sometimes, they are surrounded by the symbolism of love.  Of course, it helps if you really feel that profound love toward your spouse! Great books for partners are the Poetry of Pablo Neruda, If the Buddha Married by Charlotte Kasl, The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. 

I hope everyone is living in their moment, enjoying the sunshine of May, smelling the flowers, feeling creative and groovy, and taking care of themselves!

Peace, S

Stop Abusing Yourself and Dance!

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Report IT Nationwide!

All of you are so amazing!

Here is Jennifer Fountain in Maryland - check out this video and article

Here's another article where they showed the movie at Hood College.

Here is an article on DoSomething.com!!

Report IT Statement

Statement for Report It Rally
From Angela Rose
Founder and Executive Director of PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment

Thank you everyone for coming out today and standing in solidarity with concerned citizens all across this country and abroad. From New York to California to Canada, we are united today in this Report It Rally inspired by author/film-maker Angela Shelton. After surveying women in America in her book Finding Angela Shelton, she discovered that 70% of the women she interviewed had been victims of sexual or domestic violence and none of them had reported it, including herself. For the first time ever, we are bringing together victims in a show of strength, unity and voice to demand an end to sexual violence and improvements in the legal process to stop the systematic re-victimization that discourages reporting.

Sexual assault is the most underreported crime in the world. All too often victims do not report the crime to authorities for fear of not being believed, mistrust of the legal system, because they blame themselves for the crime or fear of retaliation. It’s time to address why this happens to sexual violence victims, while victims of other crimes, like robbery, don’t hesitate to seek justice. Victims of sexual violence deserve the equal protection of our laws. They deserve to be heard and validated. The Report IT Campaign is a first of its kind effort on behalf of all victims -- an initiative designed to give hope to all victims that we can end the silence surrounding sexual violence. Our loud, unified voice today will be the first step in a multi-year effort to inspire much needed reforms and better access to justice for all victims.

The report it campaign also features an anonymous online reporting system at www.reportitnow.org, which is gathering information and statistics on the incidence of sex crimes and will continue to gather data throughout 2008.

Allow me to share with you our Report IT 5 Step Action Plan:

1. We want you to spread the word - talk to your friends and family about the Report IT Campaign and encourage them to spread the word. Help to educate others about this important fight. Don’t stop talking about this campaign because today is only the beginning. Over the course of 2008 we will continue gathering data through our online Report IT form. We will re-convene on this same date next year - and then we will take our data and our voices to Washington DC in 2010.
2. We are today distributing sample "report cards" which we encourage you to send to every police department and district attorney's office in this state. These report cards seek mandatory and automatic disclosure of statistical information so that we can better assess where the problems lie. To fight the systematic re-victimization of victims, we need to know how many reports of sexual violence are made each year, how many reports are rejected for prosecution, how many cases go forward and what are the results. How many cases end in conviction, how many end in acquittal and how many are plea bargained down to menial charges. Prosecutors and police have to join us in this battle by releasing the truth about how the system fails victims of sex crimes.
3. Starting today we are committed to working together - to help organize families, advocates and concerned citizens who care about safe communities and fairness in our justice system. Working together we can inspire others to contribute their time, money and resources to help advocacy groups make this campaign a success. Groups such as PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment, already exist in several states. Consider helping PAVE in this mission - or start a PAVE chapter in your community.
4. Sign up for our email alerts so that you can receive updated information and be ready to take action when necessary so that we can keep the momentum going. We are currently working on a training DVD with a chief of police that will soon be available across the county. Other training programs are planned. Stay connected so that all the latest program information will help you make this campaign a success in your community.
5. Finally -- Save the date for April 29, 2009, Angela Shelton day, when we will take to the streets again for the second year of this groundbreaking campaign.


The silencing of sexual assault victims has gone on for too long and the time has come to take a stand. Re-victimizing victims will not be tolerated. Thank you for coming out -- thank you for your time and your commitment to this important cause. It is up to us to be the voice for all who have been silenced by violence.

§ Together we will break the silence of sexual violence!
§ Together we will speak in one voice for all victims!
§ Together we can make our communities safe so that no person fears being victimized!
§ Together we will call for an end to the injustices!

Detective speaks about Report It.

This is an amazing video that one of the members of the Army of Angels filmed. Her husband is a detective and he shares his views of sexual violence, how victims are treated, and how impactful the Report It Campaign is.

Are you reporting? Check out www.reportitnow.org

Life Imitates Art Imitates Life

I am a person that finds deep meaning and healing through music. I am excited this is one of the most-played and most popular singles in the Los Angeles market at the moment. The lead singer of this band wrote this song based on his friend's true story and all she has gone through. But as any friend of a survivor knows (any good friend!) you walk the difficult journey with them.

Take away this: It is never too late to turn your life around, to heal, to make the decision that what happened to you will not become THE definition of who you are. There is life beyond. PLEASE NO ONE END THEIR LIVES OVER THIS. And before you think I am insensitive and don't understand.... please... if only you knew how many times I have wanted to end my own. But I am glad I am here. :)

Finding the preditors in your area

For those of you wanting to know. This website was developed by John Walsh from America's Most Wanted. You can pull up your neighborhood, and click on the location dots for pictures, descriptions, and convictions.

www.FamilyWatchDog.us

Hello, I'm Angela Shelton.

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For those who are just meeting me for the first time...

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