Saturday, January 24, 2009
Healing Sex Gives Survivors the Confidence to Open Up
A great deal of survivors tend to have a difficult time with closeness with another person, finding themselves having to teach themselves boundaries and when any of us run into a little trouble and need help, there are shelves full of psychological insight, self help books, audio books, films and so on at our disposal. Healing Sex is a DVD that at first glance, you would think is just like the rest of the “self help” market, but once you watch it, it has the potential to really change your life and the way you look at intimacy.
Staci Haines has vast experience as a workshop leader and somatic practitioner and presents hands on exercises for you to practice either alone or with your partner for battling a lot of hurdles that survivors deal with when it comes to intimacy, such as disassociating during sex which I, as well as a great deal of survivors I speak with now have had problems with in our adult lives. Haines welcomes you into her workshops and one-on-one sessions and works with people to help them set boundaries in relationships and intimacy and teaches them how to express their desires, likes and dislikes. She gives us so much knowledge and draws upon her extensive experience to present educational and often triggering material in a comfortable and accessible way that will make you actually want to open up to your partner, now that you know how.
This DVD did wonders for me. I absolutely loved the way in which the material was presented and I especially loved that Haines doesn’t think, act or teach with the sense of false hope that she is a miracle worker. Healing from any kind of trauma takes a long time and a great deal of dedicated, hard work and the effects of childhood sexual assault have a tendency to follow survivors throughout their entire lives. This film shows you realistic ways to cope with your past and your present in terms of intimacy and overall relationships.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Call Angela Shelton on Mon Jan 19th, 2009
http://obeygiant.com/
Everything you do affects everything else so do well for yourself and others! This national service call is presented by The Angela Shelton Foundation. http://angelashelton.org/
The hard copy DVD is having the Spanish subtitles put on it right now! We were held up because I made a censored and uncensored version so you can use it in your church groups and in your schools. For those of you who speak Spanish please help me spread the word about the Spanish DVD! Contact me if you'd like to volunteer to help at armyofangels@angelashelton.com
Angela Shelton
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A cesspool of lies and corruption... or just Family Court?
In⋅fil⋅trate
/ɪnˈfɪltreɪt, ˈɪnfɪlˌtreɪt/
verb, -trat⋅ed, -trat⋅ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to filter into or through; permeate.
2. to cause to pass in by filtering.
3. to move into (an organization, country, territory, or the like) surreptitiously and gradually, esp. with hostile intent: The troops infiltrated the enemy lines.
4. to pass a small number of (soldiers, spies, or the like) into a territory or organization clandestinely and with hostile or subversive intent: The intelligence agency infiltrated three spies into the neighboring country.
–verb (used without object)
I just got back from speaking, as I do every year, at the Battered Mother’s Custody Conference. It is an emotional kick in the gut to attend. This year was not as heartbreaking as past years though, I must say. I sensed a shift happening. Instead of seeing each story as an isolated incident, the mothers now understand that one story is everyone’s story, they understand that the Family Court system has been infiltrated by the other side. There are dirty judges, Guardian Ad Litems, custody evaluators, and court appointed therapists who do the most hideous of acts that can leave you scratching your head in sheer wonder.
Why are so many child rapists and abusers being granted sole custody of the children they torture? Why are an average of 58,000 children handed over to their rapists while their protective mothers (and some fathers) are held in contempt for trying to protect them? These questions seem absurd, don’t they? But when you have heard thousands of the stories as I have, you begin to see a pattern. This is not the story of some “angry divorcee” seeking revenge on his or her ex for dating younger. This is a systematic infiltration of perpetrators into the Family Court system with the sole purpose of owning and controlling children for their own sexual and financial gain. Yes, you heard me. Go rip the roofs off of every Family Court across America and you will begin to see a pattern of absurdity. The problem is that the court is closed to the public because it is a “family matter.” Oh really? Isn’t the protection of children all of our concern as a nation?
When the Guardian Ad Litems are meant to protect kids but suggest they be given to their abusive fathers instead, when Family Court judges rule that the abusive father is more stable and the mother is too emotional, when the court appointed therapists report that a bleeding anus (hate to be so crude but it’s true) “must have been caused by the child herself”, and when custody evaluators (with no real training) say that a “fractured skull and torn hymen are caused by normal child’s play” and the father’s access to the children is more important than the abuse – you begin to think you are in a movie about the Stepford Wives. You are! Why, you ask? Why?? Because they are making money on child rape and child porn! That’s why. They are trading kids, torturing kids, taking pictures and videos and they are making billions of dollars. Do you think if you were making billions of dollars that you would protect that outlet to money and infiltrate the system that gives you control of the children? It is not rocket science and it is not some crazy conspiracy theory – it is a system analyze. Watch it become uncovered in the next few years. Watch as more Family Court issues are kept out of Criminal Court where they belong. Watch as we Americans are kept further and further away from the inner workings of Family Court. Watch. But there will be a fight.
I’ve seen and heard these stories for years. I have shed the tears, crawled into a ball, wailed and stared at the horizon wondering what in the world can be done. What can be done when the protective mothers (and some fathers) are bled dry by legal bills and given no power to fight the beast? What can be done when people like myself who find out about it dedicate their time and energy to helping people to at least heal and then get hit with death threats? What can be done when the perpetrators’ organizations sue therapists and lawyers who are working to help the children? What can be done when the organizations posing to protect kids are actually facilitating the trafficking of them?
You catch them. You keep up the fight. You infiltrate right back. You protect your children. You become a warrior. You unite with others. You never give up.
I heard a few very inspiring stories this weekend – some I myself told to bring some joy and levity to the conference. One story I heard made me leap up in celebration. One of the little girls who had been wrenched away from her mother when she was four was at the conference. She is now 22 years old. She and her brother were handed over to her abusive father after the court order from the judge. She told us about how she fought back, begged and wailed that she didn’t want to go and that her father hurt them. The Guardian Ad Litem whispered, “I know” in her ear as he ripped her away from her mother to drive her to her father. Now she speaks out about the corruption of Family Court and how children are not being listened to. “If you didn’t listen to me when I was four, maybe you’ll listen to me now that I’m twenty-two.”
She told an amazing story about how her mother never lost faith and continued to research ways to protect her children. She had all of her paperwork in order from every filed petition to the court to every letter to her children. (Ladies, your paperwork is of supreme importance! And God bless you lawyers out there who work on these cases.) The mother was only allowed supervised visits since the father had been awarded full custody. During the visits the children would lift their shirts and show their mother the welts they had on their bodies from the beatings from their father only to have the visitation supervisor tell them that they were not allowed to do that and if they continued to do that they would not even be allowed to hug their mother. So the kids shut up and stopped showing the bruises but got to hug their mother. They would hug her and whisper pleas for her to come get them. They let their mother know that their father left them alone most of the time and they told her which days.
The mother made a plan. Then she got her kids and she fled the country. She sought and won asylum in Holland. They have lived there for 14 years now. The FBI found them 2 years ago and the mother was ordered back to the United States and forced to admit that she was in contempt of the court. This is what she said – “I admit to having contempt for the court that did not protect my children.” I love that woman.
Kidnapping is a crime and I am not advocating that the mothers do their research, get their paperwork in order, and do that. What I am saying is that you must know that you are dealing with an extremely corrupt system. PAS = Perpetrators Aligning Strategically
If the mothers run with their kids, since kidnapping is a crime, they will be tracked down by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I know the National Center is supposed to be there to protect kids but when they see “kidnap” that’s all they see and then they lead the perps right to the children who are afraid of them. Kidnapping is a crime and so is murder.
The corruption runs deep and is so sickening that I have spoken about it for years – but I’m speaking to the choir. There are always perpetrators sent in to see what we say at these conferences. There are perps that read this newsletter too and come to hear me speak. I take it as a compliment – obviously I must be hitting a nerve.
"Whoso shall offend one of these little ones... it were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." - the Bible, Matthew Chapter 18
May you rapists crash and die as you drive your cars off cliffs.
Believe me I know all about the women who beat their husbands too and the women sociopaths who harass and abuse men. I’m not talking about those cases. I’m talking about the cesspool that is called the Family Court system.
To those in the system who are feeling so overwhelmed, alone, lost and frustrated – please let the story of the mother who got her kids to safety in Holland be a comfort and an inspiration. Another woman did the same in New Zealand btw. The charges were eventually dropped against the mother and her children are happy and healthy. Instead of breaking the law – do your research and get your paperwork in order and fight the system. We are not too far from the days when the gavel hit and we women were burned at the stake for nonsensical reasons. Women need to continue to bond and protect their children, and the good men need to keep coming forward and speaking out about this in the face of these non-human serpents who are getting rich by torturing children.
May all of you who are in the midst of the chaos have your pathways lit brightly, your pockets lined with money and food in your bellies as you work to protect kids. Thank you. Please order Wendy Murphy’s book – And Justice For Some to understand more about the system of dirty lawyers and judges.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Perps profiting from their crimes
I just learned about the Never Again Foundation!
The Never Again Foundation is a non profit charity that gives legal assistance to families of victims killed by domestic violence. They help and guide you through probate to legally obtain the assets. They also file legal notices and lawsuits to disqualify the killer as an heir. Their mission is to prevent all killers from financially profiting from causing death, and instead fight to have the assets go to the rightful and appropriate family members of the victim.
Yippee! Fight back and have the perps never again profit!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
January 5-11 is Women's Self-Empowerment Week!
Self-empowerment is one of the most important as well as most difficult things to implement into our everyday lives, especially in people who have been through abuse and trauma. During traumatic events we are stripped of our self esteem and our self respect and during the healing process we have to learn to re-teach ourselves our own self worth, which begins with embracing self care. Who knew that something as simple as taking care of ourselves, physically as well as emotionally, could be so hard; but it is for many people and while giving ourselves the respect, courtesy and empowerment that we need in our everyday lives may be difficult and in some cases may even seem impossible, what we gain from that self care far exceeds anything else that we can do for ourselves.
Like I said, empowerment and self care are incredibly difficult at times to implement into our everyday lives so this week is the perfect time to focus on how you can easily add a little self empowerment into your life. This week is all about the women and taking care of ourselves, giving ourselves the nurture that we need and not being afraid to spend a little time on ourselves. Sure, while Women’s Self-Empowerment Week will (publicly) end on January 11, do not stop there! I know just as well as everyone else that life sometimes gets in the way and we may go days without giving ourselves a few moments to reflect on who we are and why we’re amazing. I try to give myself a good hour of “happy time,” I call it, a day. One hour that is completely mine, shared with no one, to do what I wish and I highly suggest that you all do the same; it can do wonders for your mind because being stressed about work or home or children or whatever it is that you find yourself stressed out about all the time, is not good for your mind or your body.
This week is also the time to let all of the amazing women in your lives know how you feel about them. Let them know how much they mean to you and why they are amazing women.
How will you celebrate Women’s Self-Empowerment Week?