Survivor Manual TV!

I added a tab to the TV page for "Survivor Manual".

There is a video up there of me doing a healing technique with Todd Brazee that is pretty awesome. It may make you cry though, so be warned. It is 25 min long.

Watch it on the Angela Shelton TV tab under "Survivor Manual".

Clean Up Your Mess!

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Part of healing yourself and healing the world is cleaning up your messes.  I'm practicing what I preach.

Thank you to all of you who are signing up:

http://angelashelton.com/newsletter/ 

I keep hearing a lot of great feedback about the 30 Day Journey Daily email.
There is a new newsletter too for the Army of Angels!

Take care of yourself and your surroundings! If I can face it, so can you. Take a deep breath and go one step at a time!  You can do this. 

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Report Sexual abuse! Report IT!

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http://reportitnow.org/

Please fill out our ONLINE FORM. You can expose the sexual violence that happened to yourself or a friend or loved one if they are deceased or cannot speak for themselves. You can fill out the form anytime on or before April 29th. Thank you!

This IS NOT an official police report! We are using this form to show the vast numbers and want you to show up in person on Feb 19th and April 29th to your county courthouses!

Go to your country courthouse on Feb. 19th, 2008 for the Victims Rights Rally to launch the Report IT Campaign.

On April 1st, 2008 go to your local Barnes and Noble and meet other survivors when you buy Angela Shelton's book Finding Angela Shelton. Read the book, be inspired, and Report sexual violence that has happened to you or a loved one on our online form and get your friends to do that same. Start conversations! It is very likely that you know someone who has experienced sexual violence.

Go to your country courthouse on Angela Shelton Day, April 29th with everyone else to show that you are not alone!

Contact PAVE to get involved!! http://pavingtheway.net/

Think You've Had a Bad Day?

I've considered myself to have had a more challenging....well, lets just say rough start to the new year. Now don't worry---The Joy Campaign has been both a great kick in the pants, and a wonderful medicine for trying times. For that I am truly thankful. But the "message" I received this morning was unexpected jolt to reality.

I was pushing my shopping cart down the aisle at the Grocery Market down the street from my home. Most have probably been in the situation I was in themselves at one point. Where you aere making calculations in your head if you can afford everything in your basket, and what you can convince yourself you don't really want or need so you can put it back.

Then on the opposite end of the aisle from me, I saw her. A woman and her young daughter, probably about nine years old. Maybe because I am wired as a human, and that's what we do---or for some other more spiritual reason, I glanced at the woman's face. A fresh and painful looking bruise over her left eye.

Now, I believe it's the victim-mentality that lives in nearly all of us (and if it isn't now, it used to!) that has this dialouge with the logic in your head:

"Well, that doesn't mean she was beat up! She could have been smacked in the face by a door, or maybe has been in an automobile accident."

It was when I eavesdropped on the chatter of the child to her mother, that "its not what it looks like" idea was evicted.

"...When we get away from [Joe] and get our new apartment.."

Saying here that my heart sank just sounds poetic. I wish there was some way I could prove in my writing that my heart truly sank. Of course I fought the natural rescuer tendency in myself to want to approach her and say,

"Ma'am do you need help? Are you okay?

As Angela has shared, by and large we can't "rescue" people. Often it gets messy and people end up feeling violated, even though they so desperately wanted out of the desperate situation they were in in the first place. So, for natural "helpers" and "healers" like myself, it's a discipline in impulse control.

But we can allow our hearts to be broken for the pain of others. For many of us, this isn't far away from the same pain we felt at one point. We can be voices and speak for those that aren't strong enough yet to break their silence.

And when we think we are having a bad day, or "how will I ever get out of this mess?" Realize as I did, that in my case no one has beaten me today, yesterday or this month. I wasn't raped last night in my own bed. I don't have to walk around in public with the badge of others violence against me on my face. Almost more of an insult to my personhood that the first thing people will see of me is "victim".

Countless numbers of men and women woke up this morning not being able to claim that. It is sad that it seems to be a privilege to be a human being and not be victimized or abused. But sometimes that knowledge is the start that is needed to dig out of the pit of despair and that things will never change.

So, I know the next time I get caught in the negativity of a bad day, I am going to remember that anonymous woman and her child in the grocery store.

Break the Silence. Live Joyfully, Love Yourself, Love Others.

Dear Jane,

I got your message and yes, it is okay to be angry. You live in hell, of course you can be angry. There are many in your situation being held in prison by their family - literally. I spoke to another one of them online. But it was her dad poising as her - soooo creepy. He revealed himself pretty early on that it was really him. He's so dumb that he didn't even realize that I figured out I was talking to him and not his daughter. Creep. When you think about it, it makes sense that he was on there pretending to by his young girl and talking to her friends. Gross. Yet another way to control the one you are abusing and get your rocks off talking to their friends! Perps have all kinds of ways to stop an escape. They watch your every move.

You have to be smarter than them.

When your own family abuses you many times (like yourself) you made an agreement that in order to survive you were going to split. The problem is that you can forget that you made that agreement and have a really hard time putting all the pieces of yourself back together. You are not crazy. You abusers are crazy and they try to make you think you are crazy.

As far as getting out goes, you have to save money. It is very good that you got a job. I suggest you have them pay you through paypal and start a new account that no one knows about - don't use the account you already have that they know about! Hide and save your money even if you have to open a safety deposit box somewhere.

Express your anger away from them. Practice sports. Learn to fight. If you express yourself around them they will only put down the fortress walls quicker and heavier. You've got to think ninja-style and be smarter than them in order to escape. You and I both know that if you stay he will get your pregnant and then rape your children. That is the cold hard fact.



Jane History:
http://survivormanual.blogspot.com/2007/11/dear-jane.html
http://survivormanual.blogspot.com/2007/12/is-it-okay-to-express-myself-and-get.html
If you were following my old blog on angelashelton.com/weblog - this is the girl who we tried to save. http://www.angelashelton.com/weblog/2007/03/16/the-past-two-weeks/
I call her Jane now instead of Katie. So when you see Dear Jane, I am talking to her as well as a few just like her. There are many in this situation - just take the roof off of family courts nationwide and you will find a boatload of horror!

Report IT on Angela Shelton Day - April 29th

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Mark these dates down:

Feb 19, 2008
April 1st, 2008
April 29, 2008

Check out these sites:

http://pavingtheway.net/

http://findingangelashelton.com/team.html

http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/410317

Yeeehaw!!

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Kourts for Kids!

http://www.kourtsforkids.org/

Yay!! How many times have I heard about kids and protective mothers being victimized by the system, oh let me count the times! Check out Kourts for Kids. It is a great resource. Save the children!!

Kourts for Kids is a nonprofit organization of volunteers across America, who are working together to find ways to better protect abused children in the family courts. Many people play a role in the protection of abused children -- judges, attorneys, guardians ad litem, social workers, officers of the law, legislators, and advocates. However, sometimes children are not protected due to a lack of knowledge or misinformation, political pressure, or an overload of work. This broken link, which can occur from the time a child discloses abuse to the moment a judge renders a decision, can affect the child for the rest of his or her life. Dedicated to the protection of abused children, Kourts for Kids is going to bat for them by supporting an increase in awareness and education and promoting change within regions where protection can and should be improved.

Joyful Music for a Joyful Life!

What does the soundtrack to your life sound like? I am a big believer that life has a soundtrack. A well-known radio station where I live has a "Rock of the '90's" show each weekday during the noon hour. I have decided that listening to this radio show when I am able to is part of my new routine of Joyful Living.

Perhaps like many of us, the 1990's don't contain many memories that one would desire to recall. My abuse during this period was entrenched and regular at this point. I spent the majority of that time deeply depressed, self-destructive, and actively suicidal---I saw no other way out.

However, what I DO like to recall from that period is the "soundtrack." I am a type of person that takes comfort and finds deep meaning in analysis of song lyrics and music. In fact, I am planning future scholarly research on the effects music has on mood and conduct. What we listen to does "train our brain" and influence us more than we know!

So, as part of "The Joy Campaign" I have created an iTunes play list consisting of songs that arouse joyful feelings within me. Most of them make me want to dance around. That is a way that I express joy all the time. I dance around like a crazy woman! Definitely like nobody is watching!

I want to invite the rest of you who use iTunes and other online music services where music can be shared (and I do mean legally, people!) to do the same. Publish them on iTunes. Mention "The Joy Campaign" and Angela Shelton when you write your description so we can find each others lists. Imagine all the joyful tunes we could compile together?! It's about SPREADING THE JOY! Every person's list will look different. As a form of art, music has different meanings to each person.

Everybody has had that "one song stuck on repeat in your head". I don't think I have had a day alive where I haven't had some song looping through my brain! Make sure it's a song that is going to influence your thoughts and conduct in a positive way. Allow it to be a song that brings a smile to your face and to your heart. Angela has said before, take that love-song that's your absolute favorite and sing it with YOU as the subject!

Can't wait to see how creative you all get, and to see us all sharing the songs that contribute to our joy!

As a starter, here is my JOYFUL PLAY-LIST. You'll have to have iTunes installed to view and preview the music. It can be easily downloaded at www.itunes.com for free!

BE JOYFUL, DANCE AROUND, LOVE YOURSELF!

Women, Sex and Addiction!

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Women, Sex and Addiction is one of my all-time favorite books! It's not what you think. Talk about an eye-opener!! Don't let the title scare you - get it, own it!

Charlotte Kasl just read my book! I almost fell over when she contacted me. I love this woman!!! She is a Godsend.

This is what she said:

With relentless honesty, humor and vitality, Angela Shelton combines the voices of other Angela Sheltons to expose the depths of sexual and physical abuse toward women that pervades the America family. Angela Shelton opens the door for countless others to stop denying their pain, tell their stories, and join together in the revolutionary act of getting well and loving themselves. What started as a road trip to interview a cross section of womenall named Angela Sheltonturned into a tsunami of people confronting the horror of abuse. One wonders if we should stop worrying so much about terrorists crossing our borders, and focus on the terrorism that exists on a daily basis in millions of American homes. Read this book and understand why.
--Charlotte Sophia Kasl author of Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power, If the Buddha Dated, and Many Roads, One Journey, Moving Beyond the Twelve Steps

Check out what volunteers and angels are doing around my book already!http://findingangelashelton.com/ I heard a little birdie say that groups are already starting to form to go meet in person in Barnes and Nobels nationwide to get the book the day it comes out and network with each other. That's awesome! Find a team near you on the team page http://findingangelashelton.com/team.html (just click on your state) and and then I'll show up to come meet you if I'm near there. You all are so awesome! This grassroots movement just shows that you are ready to move forward and you will no matter what. I love it. Sign onto the newsletters to find out more - http://angelashelton.com/newsletter/

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Family Court Crisis

The Center for Judicial Excellence has a new film!
Family Court Crisis: Our Children at Risk

It is a film about the systemic breakdown of our family courts!

Spread the word. People need to know about the truth.

Love Fraud - Beware of Sociopaths

Check this site out! LoveFraud.com
I just met the people who run it and it is a resource site about how to beware of the sociopath with no heart, no conscience, no remorse. Be on the lookout, especially as you begin to get better, heal, and leave abusive situations - learn how to spot a con so you don't repeat patterns!

Love Fraud dot com!