In the face of trauma like child sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, sexual assault, and neglect there are many how-to questions - How to heal - how to fight - how to trust - how to get justice - how to escape - how to end the cycle - How to be a better parent - How to find joy Here is a manual on surviving.
The Survivor Manual Goal
The Survivor Manual idea came to me after personally meeting thousands of survivors and hearing similar questions and concerns. THE GOAL is to provide ANSWERS to the myriad of questions that survivors face as well as ideas, inspiration, information, resources, healing techniques, and recommended reading, watching and doing as well as ways to get involved, news to know, and ways to change the world. Contributions are from myself, fellow activists, non-profits organizations, lawyers, professionals, healers, teachers, therapists, and survivor contributors that I know. MY HOPE is that survivors find the answers they need for whatever part of the path they are on. Take what works for you. Love, Angela Shelton
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Angela Shelton Speaks to Teens
Order the LIVE EVENT and listen to Angela Shelton speaking to a group of high school kids.
What did it feel like As you walked away From me Your daughter? What does that feel like, Walking away from your child? How does the air move around your body? What shoes does one wear to do this? Did you tread gingerly, The dusty ground making crunching sounds? Did perhaps the ground slip out from under you, Quaking under your feet with the knowledge
of what you were about to do? Or did you run, Fast and hard and away so as not to feel My heart Two years from my birth, Break apart. Did you tilt your head as you walked? Did you look back and see me? Did you then drive to your mother’s for comfort, Or to forget, Did you walk hastily through to her backyard, Falling to your knees, Praying to the bluebirds you found there? Did their wings tell of my loss? Each flap my execution. In those moments after your exit, Did my scent remain with you? At the sight of the stars,
did it smash into you, Smearing you into the oily Earth, The realization that,
God help you, I was probably looking at the same stars, Alone, Lips quivering, Without you? And later, when you sniffed the piano key white powder deep into your nose, Did you think your heart, And therefore mine, Could forget Through numbness? Did you think, at all? And when it stormed, late into the night, Did you ever awaken with a start, panicking that I too, May be somewhere in my tiny girl body, Wracked with thunderous grief, With the total annihilation of your leaving?
And when my father took me, at three years old, For himself in his bed, Could you feel it? When you shopped at the market every Saturday, Bumping into that sweet ole Creole lady, As you Mumbled, ‘Excuse me, Maa’m…” and the sun colored oranges caught your darting eye. Did you wonder, then, Does Sarah, my daughter, Like oranges? Or were oranges oranges and storms storms and mother’s hearts just numb. And what of your father, your mother, What did they teach you that you believed I was better off with anyone but the woman who birthed me, You, My Mother?
This week's episode of Madness Radio from our archives interviews Angela Shelton, an award-winning Hollywood actress and filmmaker, who traveled across the US meeting other women named Angela Shelton and discovering how widespread sexual abuse is in our society. She discusses her film
Searching for Angela Shelton and her work helping people heal from trauma. www.angelashelton.com
Bills arriving in heaps? Gas prices sky-rocketing? Summer love turned sour? Regardless of the cause, there's a counter-intuitiveness to the goodies we turn to for comfort. Take the classic-curling up with a pint of ice cream. It's a total backfire. Why? Sweets are insidious: After the initial rush, the body's insulin response kicks in, causing a sudden blood sugar drop that triggers the release of stress hormones. Soon you're feeling more jangled than you were before you inhaled that whole container of Chunky Monkey. And alcohol, of course, is a wolfish stimulant in calm sheep's clothing. But true comfort foods do exist.
1. Berries, any berriesEat them one by one instead of M&Ms when the pressure's on. For those tough times when tension tightens your jaw, try rolling a frozen berry around in your mouth. And then another, and another. Since the carbs in berries turn to sugar very slowly, you won't have a blood sugar crash. The bonus: They're a good source of vitamin C, which helps fight a jump in the stress hormone cortisol. 2. GuacamoleIf you're craving something creamy, look no further. Avocados are loaded with B vitamins, which stress quickly depletes and which your body needs to maintain nerves and brain cells. Plus their creaminess comes from healthy fat. Scoop up the stuff with whole-grain baked chips-crunching keeps you from gritting your teeth. 3. Mixed nutsJust an ounce will help replace those stress-depleted Bs (walnuts), give you a whopping amount of zinc (Brazil nuts)-it's also drained by high anxiety-and boost your E (almonds), which helps fight cellular damage linked to chronic stress. Buy nuts in the shell and think of it as multi-tasking: With every squeeze of the nutcracker, you're releasing a little bit of tension. 4. OrangesPeople who take a 1,000 mg of C before giving a speech have lower levels of cortisol and lower blood pressure than those who don't. So lean back, take a deep breath, and concentrate on peeling a large orange. The 5-minute mindfulness break will ease your mind and you'll get a bunch of C as well. 5. AsparagusEach tender stalk is a source of folic acid, a natural mood-lightener. Dip the spears in fat-free yogurt or sour cream for a hit of calcium with each bite. 6. Chai teaA warm drink is a super soother, and curling up with a cup of aromatic decaf chai tea (Tazo makes ready-to-brew bags) can make the whole evil day go away. 7. Dark chocolateOkay, there's nothing in it that relieves stress, but when only chocolate will do, reach for the dark, sultry kind that's at least 70% cocoa. You figure if the antioxidant flavonoids in it are potent enough to fight cancer and heart disease, they've got to be able to temper tension's effects.
